Why they won't let me work in the Political Press

Questions I would ask as a Mainstream media Interviewer

to Mrs. Vitter:

"Have you made David get HIV testing as a result of his 'mistake'? "

to Mr. Vitter:

"Were you full on fornicating with the hookers, or was it just Clinton sex?"

"Why did Clinton deserve to be impeached or forced to resign for a legal sex act while you feel you are not, when you used funds provided by the people of the United states to pay for an illegal sexual act?"

"Do you kiss Mrs.Vitter with that lying mouth?"

to every Republican in Congress, EVERY SINGLE DAY:

"Today, ____ lost his/her life in Iraq, leaving ____ children and a spouse. Was ____'s death worth the civil war and increase in Al Quaeda's power and recruitment?"
Next day: Repeat the question

to Tony Snow:

"Look you dirty lying cocksucker. We all know you will lie with your dying breath to protect the traitor in the whitehouse. What I want to know is- Do you ever feel a twinge of guilt knowing that you are protecting rich corrupt men for a tiny slice of the pie while the children of poor Americans are dying every single day for a war of lies?"

"Do you think you deserve more or less of war profitteering money for your efforts to hide the truth from the American people?"

to Cheney:

"Hold still, sir. I'm reloading my... mike."

to Bush:

"Would you prefer to go down in history as the traitor who masterminded the not-so clandestine destruction of the U.S. constitution, the man who led U.S. out of its heyday as the world's only superpower, and a war criminal with 1 million dead Iraqi women and children as notches on your belt- or as a semi-religious, ex cokehead dumbass who never really had a clue what you were doing?"