The Fruit of Immoral war

Sin.

The above post tore me up, because it just bleeds the heartless truth of the matter. And it reminded me of Riverbend's blog, Baghdad Burning. I spent countless hours glued to her blog, reading about the life of a young woman in occupied Iraq, with this hopeful line etched above post:

... I'll meet you 'round the bend my friend, where hearts can heal and souls can mend...

Her blog was full of truth yet it was far from heartless. But I watched that heart bleed itself out...

It began here

My suggestion? Bring in UN peace-keeping forces and pull out the American troops. Let the people decide who they want to represent them. Let the governing council be composed of Iraqis who were suffering the blockade and wars *inside* of Iraq. People are angry and frustrated and the American troops are the ones who are going to have to bear the brunt of that anger simply because the American administration is running the show, and making the mistakes.

It always saddens me to see that the majority of them are so young. Just as it isn’t fair that I have to spend my 24th year suffering this whole situation, it doesn’t seem fair that they have to spend their 19th, 20th, etc. suffering it either. In the end, we have something in common- we’re all the victims of decisions made by the Bush administration.

Reading her blog gave me the only real insight I had into how the people of Iraq felt. It was my first link up every day, when she didn't post for days, I would worry. I sent her emails detailing my own despairs and apologies for my country's occupation of hers. I told her of the many people that were fighting against the warmongers and the fascists who had taken over our government. I told her that some Americans cared deeply about her and her people and what our government was doing and that we would end this occupation as soon as we could.

In the end, I stopped altogether. As much as I believed what I wrote when it was written, I soon realized that I had lied. And I realized what an arrogant ass I must seem, emailing her my concerns as my countrymen trampled her country and tortured, raped, and killed her way of life.

I was ashamed. I am ashamed. But what is my shame to her pain? It is nothing, less than nothing.

And as her posts became fewer and fewer, her thoughts began to abandon any sense of hope at all. Atrocity upon atrocity dulled any capacity for such wishful thinking.

Towards the end, she just wanted to leave Iraq, her home, her country, and flee from the hell that the occupation had made of it.

Her last post was April 26. Did she make it out alive? Is she a prisoner in her own country or a refugee from her homeland? And does it make it a difference? Her life, like the lives of millions of Iraqis has been ruined, completely destroyed, because of America. And because of Americans.

And unless you are an American who has been sitting in jail for the past few years for fighting against the fascists who control this country, then you, like me, are complicit. And it doesn't matter how much you didn't like this war, or didn't approve of it. We are all complicit. Our hands are bloody, our souls are darkened by our failure to stop the madness.

And no matter how much YOU may tell yourself that you aren't responsible, it's not ME you have to convince- Convince the Riverbends of Iraq.

... I'll meet you 'round the bend my friend, where hearts can heal and souls can mend...

I don't think I can blame her if her heart doesn't heal towards me or my fellow Americans.