Jul 10, 2007

Christians Unite! Against other Christians...

The Nazi Pope speaketh: Your church is the Suck! Our Church is the one True Church of Jesus!

Pope Benedict XVI has reasserted the universal primacy of the Roman Catholic Church, approving a document released Tuesday that says Orthodox churches were defective and that other Christian denominations were not true churches.

Ah, it never bores me, watching the eternal evolution of Jewish mythology as interpreted by the Not-jews. Especially by the Not-jews that don't really like the jews and who like to say that the not-jews who REALLY love the jews are wrong.

Benedict, who attended Vatican II as a young theologian, has long complained about what he considers the erroneous interpretation of the council by liberals, saying it was not a break from the past but rather a renewal of church tradition.

And don't forget his own flawed catholic clergy- infested with those damn liberals! Oh you damn Liberals! Damn you! Damn you to Hell! (Never gets old, does it? Say it with me: "And we would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for those Damn meddling liberals!")

“Christ ‘established here on earth’ only one church,” the document said. The other communities “cannot be called ‘churches’ in the proper sense” because they do not have apostolic succession — the ability to trace their bishops back to Christ’s original apostles.

Oh, and of course, those apostles never disagreed on anything, now did they? And if they had, the Catholic church and its many high priests have had about 2ooo years to scrub the records clean, right? Except for those pesky scrolls that keep turning up...

Oh well, fuck the religious debate and pass the mashed potatoes!

Quick prayer to JewZeus and let's just shut up and eat. I mean, uh, Jesus.

Who am I supposed to pray to, again? Don't be confused, sooner or later someone will come around to tell you who you are supposed to worship, and more Importantly- Where to deposit your tithe money. Now- it can even be automatically withdrawn electronically from your account! No more fishing for dollars in your churchpants while your neighbor peeks to see just how much you are putting in the collection plate! You can even be a PLATINUM DONOR to the church and win a free vacation to the holy land!

Hallelujah! Ah, God does work in mysterious ways.

Old House of the Rising Sons posts on Religion


Fade said...

I like that word, btw, PRIMACY. Stirs my testosterone. I was going to blog about the Illegal Immigration Workers speech I gave to a group of blue collar construction white trash last night that ended with them buying drinks for a Mexican National for the rest of the night but I blew too much time on the Papal Primacy.

My Testosterone is tougher than YOUR testosterone. Unless you are AB, then I am cowering under my desk up here.

Targa said...

The downside of electronic tithing is that certain "I'm more pious than thou" members of the congregation will invariably raise a poorly pencil-drawn eyebrow when they see that many in the pews are not reaching for their wallets or purses. Causing much derision in the congregation and creating subtle haute harumphs in the general direction of the alleged non-tithers.
The upside is that the REAL non-tithers can lie their god-bothering asses of and simply say, "It's automatically deducted".

It's win-win for the laughing horde on the outside.

Fade said...

"invariably raise a poorly pencil-drawn eyebrow"
"creating subtle haute harumphs"

"It's win-win for the laughing horde on the outside"

Targa, bud- You need to post more of your writing- that's some damn fine commentin', right thar.

supergirlest said...

oh, you've gotta pop on over and get a load of my last post.