Our Government is a bad sitcom

Come and listen to a story about a man named Dub

A poor oil man’s son, barely a silver spoon scrub,

Then one day he was shootin up some coke,

And up through his brain came a bubblin' hoax.

War that is,

black gold, all for me

Well the first thing you know

ol' dub's a dictator,

Neocons said all you lefties are just haters

Said Guantanamo is the place you ought to be

So they loaded up the truck and killed what was free.

our laws, that is.

signing statements, wiretaps.

The Corporate Pharisees!

Well now its time to say good-bye to Dub and his bloody crown.

And he would like to thank you folks fer kindly bowing down.

You’re all invited back again to this locality

To have a heapin helpin of his hospitality

War profiteering that is.

dying for your country’s rich.

Empty your pockets.

Y'all come back now, y'hear?

Blogger Universe!

Real Name: Unknown
Other Blog handles: Redneck Liberal, Faded
Base of Operations: West Texas, ya'll



First Blog Appearance: Crooks and Liars, 2004
Group Affiliations: MCCS1977, Blue Herald, and Unruly Mob

Topic of Choice: Government is out of control, Right Wing is ruining America

Medals of Valor: Thinking blogger award, thrice decorated, Awarded the coveted Iamsoretarded.com linkage from Archvillain Megabrad.

Special Powers: Fast typing, Profanity Specialist, ability to use True Conservative arguments in the Liberal cause to dismantle the bullshit of Right wingers. Unafraid to piss people off.

Google-Link Ability: Level 10 - Master
HTML Ability: Level 2 - Cut and paster

Weaknesses: Alcohol, Vulgar women , Truly Intelligent people, ability to piss people off.
ArchEnemy: Caveman , destroyed in mid-2007, not seen since.

History: Born in a trailer, raised in the projects while simultaneously living on weekends with his millionaire father, Fade is a man of contradictions and exceptions. May possibly be the only member of Who's Who with multiple college scholarships prior to entering high school who was a gangmember and frequent incarceree of the Lubbock jail system.

Leaving West Texas for the Big D, he escaped the confines of the bible belt and expanded his mind in college. However, his criminal side resurfaced and he became a young Republican. Returning to Lubbock, he became a board member of the corporation his father was President of. Dark days of dittoheadness followed.

Days after championing W in the 2000 elections, Fade discovered something was very wrong. He realized his political views and life were a complete hypocritical self-serving pile of shit.

Then he discovered the intertubes. He fell under the tutelage of Blog Master Actor212, who took him under his wing and tried to hone Fade's pathetic lack of html skills. After Actor212 showed him the ways of the tubes- Fade opened his zen blog temple, House of the Rising Sons.

Fade became a junior member of the Justice Blog of America (aka MCCS1977) sometime in 2006, where he learned much at the feet of Frederick, Navyswan, and Bacchus. Fade then struck out on his own again with a new House and to this very day fights crime and Republicans from this stronghold.

The George W. Bush Sewage Plant

http://sfist.com/2008/03/31/presidential_me_1.php

http://arnoldsandoval.com/2008/04/04/john-gibson-interview-with-chicken-john/

"We would like to basically turn every toilet in San Francisco into a monument for George Bush"

Fafblog Back?

Or is Giblets just fucking with us on April Fools?

http://fafblog.blogspot.com/

Anything but fkn Politics

A prominent Feminist blog posts about the joys of Competitive Cheerleading.



No, it's not a joke. It's like important, and stuff. A girl, raised by veggies and yoga instructors, with a blue streak in her hair even, like wrote it. YAY Feminism! Gimme an F!

(and just so you know, I hate ALL teenage sports equally. I don't even want my son to play football, but his mom is convinced that he's going pro... I'd rather him study and learn than roll around in the dirt and glorify such inconsequential bullshit)

The Adrenaline post in honor of my upcoming nuptials...






I am soooo addicted to this song. 'Tube didn't have the Radiohead cover of Rhinestone cowboy. Too bad...




A poem for 5 years of hell

Life
They bruised my soul with a proverb,
They bruised my back with a rod,
And they bade me bow to my elders,
For that was the word of God.

They pent up my soul and bound me
Till life was a living death,
They struck the wine from my fingers,
The passion from my breath.

I reached my hands to living,
They hurled me back into school,
And they said, "Go learn your lessons,"
You innocent young fool."

They yowled till they woke the trumpets --
And the sword blade rent the plow,
And they said, "It is your duty"
"To die for your elders now.

"They cowered far from the battle
As I went into the strife,
And I spilled my guts in the trenches
In the red dawn of my life.

And the elders named me hero,
But more than their words and ire
Was the scent of a strange wild flower
There where I died in the mire.

Robert E. Howard


This one's for Angry-



okay, maybe a little politics... Neocons in Star Wars? of course they would be living on a planet that they made into a wasteland ...

God aborts the child of a sinner - Old skool God wasn't Pro-life.

And What's a Good Friday without a Pagan fertility rite? Procreate, Fornicate, Multiply. Do it with love. or at least a modicum of enthusiasm.

...and all I got was this lousy youtube...

Freida Bee has the intertube of the week - (below the Johnny Cash)

Shatner, Seventies, Scifi Awards show

FRIST!'s Republican Leadership survey!

Take Bill Frist's VOLPAC "Republican Leadership Survey"


Because this man cares deeply...

The questions of course, are weighted to the Bushbot eleetz. And of course, no discussion questions, you know how the Repubs don't want to hear anything but their carefully selected talking point answers.

Sample Questions and the fristian results thus far :

So, Bush blowing too much money, Mexicans!, government having to collect more money to pay for Iraq, the dangers of improving Healthcare, the threat of addressing social issues, or Judges that don't favor corporations- Whatever could be the biggest Fear of Fristians?

Survey sez: MEXICANS! Closely followed by the horrors of attempting to fix social issues at home!

And, what do you believe that other Americans feel is the most important issue?

Hmm.. Apparently the economy didn't make the grade. Neither did healthcare, the environment, inflation, war, torture, America's global loss of prominence, the damage done to the military, corruption, or corporate outsourcing of American jobs. It looks like its neverending war, spying on Americans, Mexicans!, and ... Iran? Seriously? Bush just sold millions of dollars worth of state of the art missles to Saudi Arabia, the country behind 9-11 , and Frist is worried about Iran building a nuke to protect itself from Israel? Oy.

Survey sez: MEXICANS! Twice in One Survey! Odelay!

And, I guess even only 5% of Fristians think that Iran's nuclear program is of note. Hopefully Frist (and other Rethugs) will take note. And only 11% of bushbots think that the Surge needs more time. That's heartening, if nothing else.

I encourage you all to join up and become an iFrist volunteer and help steer Volpac back towards some true conservatism and away from the neocon-war profiteering path they've been stuck on, which has really hurt the Republicans. Help let them know what the American people really want. The best way to do that is from inside Volpac itself. Go forth and multiply, friends.

Random Shiite

Be an Ornery Bastard
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Enhance your verbal repartee - I imagine this site will keep me busy for a long time...

Wallstreetfighter-humor-links-tuesday.html Traders are evil people, with evil senses of humor

LMFAO= Airing your personal life online - I promise I'll never dump you on my website, really, I won't...
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Blue Herald's News Roundup

Moses on Hallucinogens -explains-so-much...
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Good News - Evil Stifler's Mom radio show gets the ax
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Bad News - Rape in the Military

and finally, Video Brilliance. I've got to download a video editor and start mashing shit up, because you know, I'm just not fucking off enough...

All Hail Excellence in Award giving!

A great and generous blog lord gives freely to his vassals...




May the peace and love of the Ape-Human Renaissance continue unabated.



Dr. Z at home, listening to Irene play Skynrd and perusing the papernet blogs...

Thank you for the accolades. Carry on your valuable research, good sir.

Which Book are you?

I ran across this Which Book are you? quiz via Atomic Romance...

I'm not so sure that I appreciate it's results much...

You're Lolita!
by Vladimir Nabokov
Considered by most to be depraved and immoral, you are obsessed with sex. What really tantalizes you is that which deviates from societal standards in every way, though you admit that this probably isn't the best and you're not sure what causes this desire. Nonetheless, you've done some pretty nefarious things in your life, and probably gotten caught for them. The names have been changed, but the problems are real.

Ah, Technology - it only took 7 questions for this quiz to decide I was a freak... Thats just wrong. So I took it again, and switched the answer to "Do you feel Old?" from No to Yes, and I ended up with this instead... Feeling young at heart, apparently, isn't doing me any favors. This is better.

You're Les Miserables!
by Victor Hugo
One of the best known people in your community, you have become something of a phenomenon. People have sung about you, danced in your honor, created all manner of art in your name. And yet your story is one of failure and despair, with a few brief exceptions. A hopeless romantic, you'll never stop hoping that more good will come from your failings than is ever possible. Beware detectives and prison guards bearing vendettas.

hmm... no, that ain't right... Well, what's life if you can't tweak it a bit? Let's try again...

You're Siddhartha!
by Hermann Hesse
You simply don't know what to believe, but you're willing to try anything once. Western values, Eastern values, hedonism and minimalism, you've spent some time in every camp. But you still don't have any idea what camp you belong in. This makes you an individualist of the highest order, but also really lonely. It's time to chill out under a tree.

Okay, I can deal with that one, at least.

Hill Knows Dick!

Hill Country Gal has a hilarious find- The Dikipedia!

Moby Dick Cheney

"Our souls are like those orphans whose unwedded mothers die in bearing them: the secret of our paternity lies in their grave, and we must there to learn it."

"It smells like the left wing of the day of judgment."

More Tales of Dick:
Dickspearean Theatre
Olbermann on Dick
Treasonous Dick
Dangerous Dick
Can't Shoot for Dick

Various Dikipedia entries that had me cracking up:

Tom Brady: "On February 3, 2008, Tom Brady brought his team, with their perfect 18-0 record, to the Super bowl where he promptly choked and was beaten by a banged-up team of young players led by a guy who is not even the best quarterback in his immediate family."

Sean Penn: "Often described as an acting “powerhouse,” Sean Penn is known for his intensity and humorlessness. He has been a druggie, a delinquent, mentally-unhinged, and a retard. He has also played those characters in films."

Ronald Reagan: "Despite being America’s most famous conservative, Reagan actually began life as a New Deal Democrat. He began to turn away from the Democrats, however, when they aligned themselves with the burgeoning civil rights movement. "I didn't leave the Democratic Party", Reagan later claimed, "The party left me.” (Probably at a Whites Only water fountain.)"

Lance Armstrong: "married Kristin Richard in 1998. After bearing him three children, caring for them while he spent up to half a year, every year, training in Spain, and then supporting him through major illness and recovery, Armstrong rewarded his wife by dumping her for singer-songwriter Cheryl Crow. He subsequently broke off his engagement to Ms. Crow after she was diagnosed with cancer. That, apparently, was too much of a downer for him.
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In October 2007, he began dating Mary Kate Olsen. Or was it Ashley Olsen? No, it was Mary Kate. Whichever one it was, for a brief period, Armstrong was putting it to an anorexic ex-child star more than half his age. Not bad for a guy with one ball. "

Pat Robertson: "After failing to pass the bar exam in 1955, Robertson underwent his religious conversion, entering a field that has a much lower bar than the actual bar."

The Incredible Hulkabee!

I was going to beg Frederick to make me a better pic of Hulkabee, but I couldn't wait....

In the wilds of Arkansas while out hunting rabid dogs with his son, Hulkabee was born!

It all started when Huckabee encountered a water moccassin that had been abused by snake handlers. It had been forced to live in a tank of holy water and fed only aryan mice that had been converted to christianity from their evil rodent religion. It had escaped from the church where it had been held captive and was hiding in the knothole of a tree.

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Unfortunately for the abused serpent, Huckabee's eye had chanced upon the tree and he proceeded to do some “Arkansas knotholing”. (a common practice in Huckabee's community, second in popularity- in fact- only to squirrel hunting).

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The snake, fearing torture by the humans again, bit Huck as he made sweet christian love to the seductive elm. He then shuddered and died. The snake, not Huck.

Huck’s son was busy strangling a particulary vicious looking stray schnauzer on the other side of the valley and was unable to suck out the poison for his dad.

.
Hulkabee fell into a dreamstate from the holy water moccasin venom and God came into his head and spoke to him.

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“You are the chosen one. You will go to Washington and replace the constitution with the 10 commandments! If anyone gets in your way, the holy spirit will fill you and you will transform into HULKABEE!”

Huck felt the holy venom changing him. And he said unto the Lord: “Yes, O Lord”

And the Lord turned to go back into heaven, and as he disappeared he yelled over his shoulder- “And stop sticking your dick in trees!”

Hulkabee arose filled with two things: A godly fire to spread the word of Religion to his government and - an intense hate for all sexual desires except with his lovely wife- Erlene.

Normally sane- he can go off at a moment’s notice into a constitution shredding fury! That slack jawed sleepy grin hides a grimace that makes Fred Thompson look like Matthew McConnahey!

Tremble, ye unworthy! Repent, ye sinners. Huck Smash Law!

(and yes, that IS the angriest pic of Huck I could find)

Love me or hate me-

But I'd really prefer if you would just exonerate me of all wrongdoing, perceived or otherwise...

Lurking at Five New Blogs

(like a big ole puppy dog...)


Or these blogs are new to me, Anyway...

Blue Girl

Blind in Texas

One Good Thing and a moving post from Flea's blog from awhile back...

Distant Ocean has a breakdown on Cheney's Evolutionary cycle (Hat tip to Ice Station Tango )

The Fifth Estate 5th has a post concerning Tony Snow's book on how to Defeat Cancer. I haven't seen it in the bookstores yet, but here's what I imagine a rough draft looks like:

Tony Snow Cancer Help Rough draft:
Preface: Good American Healthcare Plan
First things first= Have you gotten yourself some good government healthcare prior to finding out you have cancer? You haven't? Well. Get Religion.Skip to Chapter 10.

Chapter 1: Bring it on, Cancer!
Everyone knows you defeat cancer just like you defeat Al Quaeda- you invade an organ near the cancer, nuke the entire system until the cancer dies (and hopefully not the organ or the whole system with it).

Chapter 2-6: How Republican conservatism prepared me to face cancer.
Tell everyone God and Bush has saved you from the cancerous threat.

Chapter 6: Waiting game
If the procedure actually works, its a triumph for democracy / medical science. If not,just when the bodies got no chance left- you surge in, cut away everything you can for one last ditch effort. If good cells are removed with bad, its just the price you pay.

Chapter 7-9: No one can predict the future
Don't listen to doctors or pay attention to their fancy-shmancy punditry. You'll know in your gut (especially if you have gut cancer) if the cancer is defeated.

Chapter 10: Thank you, George Bush
If god loves you and you aren't a freeloading liberal, the cancer's gone, just like Mine! Yay!

Daddy Kirk's 720

It all started with my daughter, Amy, asking what a "180" was...

So, after I broke out pen and paper (cause, she's every bit as much of a analytical geek as I) and explained 90 degree angles, 180s and 360s as best as I could, using examples with trampolines and skateboards and finally we spun around the room together for full effect- she kept the math going and asked: So If I spin around twice its a 720?

Uh yeah.

She's happy cuz she learned something. I'm happy because I may have actually taught something, and there ya go. Momentary Parental Nirvana achieved. Now I can drink myself into a stupor without feeling as guilty as normal.

Just kidding. Barely a half-stupor, but its 11pm, so I'm working on it.

Any-Way- So after toying with the idea of deleting this blog tonight, or deleting everything but the non-political posts (I know, jeezus, that would take some time) I decide I shall persevere. And feeling like everything has grown sort of stagnant of late, I delve into piles of my old writing, most of which was completely non-political. I found some gems, though. From my Republican days.

I will now ruin all my hard-earned liberal blog cred by posting some of them...

This is a letter to the Editor to the Lubbock Avalanche Journal that got published 10 years ago during the Impeachment of Bill Clinton. Back when I was a certified dittohead.

LETTER TO THE EDITOR
The Lady who Defended Clinton on 10/7/98 says a husband can receive "mouth jobs" from a woman besides his wife and it is okay. Apparently she and the president have the same views on marriage. However, Clinton finally admitted having "regular" sex with other women during his marriage. He first lied to his family and the public about all of them. He also lied about accepting illegal contributions from agents of the Chinese government. He also lied about doing drugs. He also lied about knowing nothing about Travelgate and Whitewater. I don't think he should be impeached ONLY for his dalliances with a Government employee on Government time on Government property. He should be removed from office for All of his numerous crimes against America and the American people. And By the way, I also think that we Clinton bashers could make good skunk catchers, after all, we caught HIM.
10/18/98

My first letter ever published to the A-J. Boy was I full of myself (completely unlike the moderate, humble blogger you know and love now, huh?) All that I can say in defense of myself is - uh - Hey! I'm consistent in my desire to impeach Presidents, no matter what party- Now, THAT'S Bipartisan...

My next letter got me in hot water with the family, who decided I was satanic. How, may I ask you, can a card carrying recipient of the Limbaugh letter be in league with the Debbil? I am re-printing it here, just to show that you can be a metal-head and a Republican at the same time. Although, now, hindsight being 20/20 - I understand that Rush was a gateway drug into fascist dopedom. Luckily my ADHD prevented the crystal meth from having much of an effect.

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

A little hearsay goes a long way. This letter is in response to Mrs.Caldwell's (AJ 1-25). The band, Marilyn Manson, is not satanic, and neither does the lead singer who also goes by the name, Marilyn Manson, consider himself the antichrist. The name of their most recent album is Antichrist Superstar, a tongue-in-cheek marketing ploy devised by the band's manager, in order to garner attention from the rebellious teen age group who make up the band's target audience. Does anyone remember the band KISS and the rumors surrounding them? Marilyn Manson is KISS for the 90's. Sure they dress up weird, act a little goofy, and use a lot of theatrical special effects. So what? The music is good, and that is why I will be at the concert on Feb.4. People should open their eyes and minds before calling for a ban of anything based merely on gossip.

This was all, of course, before the religious wing of the right reared its fugwy head. By the time that had happened, I was already out the door. I never thought that I would end up here, in the strange limbo that I now inhabit, the liberal ghetto of redneckistan. It's all good, though. I wasn't a total douchebag back then, I still managed to write a few things that mean something to me still....

Untitled 8/14/96

Never again a broken heart,
and never again true love-
And when I relive those evil deeds,
I know this fate worse than ever dreamed of.

Wisdom comes hard, or not at all,
and Penance only allowed so many times
These words are my duty and my final debt
Here- My love borne of a few simple rhymes...

Arrogance is bliss
but is easily corrected
With the loss of your kiss
My soul was disconnected

I set aside the decay of pride
and dream the same daydream
holding you close by my side
and things become all they seem

I've never said that I wasn't lost
The only thing I liked about my life was you
The price of my selfishness now has an eternal cost...
And drifting here in Hell, I don't know what to do.

Pain IS a gift. But hopefully not one you have to receive forever.

Nice Guys Finish ... last?

Angry is one of the most honest bloggers out there. She lays it out why nice guys finish last in her tongue-in-cheek opinion.. Hey Assholes

I love me some Angry. Reminds me a little of... well, me. But a younger, more energetic me whose life was consumed by finding that perfect piece of ... life companion..? And when you're in your twenties, what the hell, you've got plenty of time to fuck off and follow your whims...

Read her whole post, it's great. It can kind of be summarized like this :

“Men are like tile - you lay ‘em right once, and you can walk all over them.” And continuing to find a guy who will walk all over you is infinitely more entertaining than a guy who, you know, treats you with respect (booorrr-innnggggg!)

If you aren't a nice guy, you probably already quit reading this and have surfed over to Angry's place to find out if you can be next on her list to see who can outlay who in order to start asserting your dominance. Good Luck with that. My money's on Angry.

If you are on a mission to fuck every vain, shallow bitch/bastard out there, by all means be an asshole, be a huge fucking bitch. The Paris Hiltons of the world love the "challenge" of screwing such an arrogant cocksman or such an "untouchable" hottie.

But when you grow up and get tired of this youthful exercise in idiocy and degradation-

then quit being a sorry self-centered slut of a person and find a decent man/woman who wants the same. And BE a decent person. Some people never outgrow the "game". Luckily most of us do.

The decent person won’t be the flashiest one out there, they won’t be the one that has a dozen “friends” of the opposite sex that they go out with three times a week to get smashed in order to forget how inconsequential their life really is.

They won’t be concerned with how much money you make/spend. They’ll be there when you need them and expect you to be there when they need you. The first time you shit on them, they’ll be gone, and they won’t look back. And the first time they shit on you- RUN =don’t walk away.

Love the fact that you ARE a good, nice person who doesn't fuck over others. Self confidence is its own aphrodesiac- When you stop chasing shiny trophy pussy to help finance your ego's deepening debt- you might actually find a keeper.

Go ahead and be a nice guy or girl. It’s okay, no matter what the Paris Hiltons are chasing this week. Just don’t let the Peter Pans out there treat you like you are supposed to be their latest accessory while you are being nice to them. Life's too short to be an asshole and its WAY TOO SHORT To have to deal with one.

I KNOW. I was the biggest prick you'd ever meet before I finally figured my shit out. And I've been shit on by some of the biggest bitches on the planet.

Because too many lame ass tattoos just wasn't enough

Note to all you sleeve-tattoo wearing badasses:

You are a dumb shit. And your tattooed head-to-toe-peers are just getting to be more and more fucking retarded.

Being inked doesn't mean you are a rebel anymore. Covering yourself with tattoos doesnt set you apart anymore. Too many tattoos are like too many facial piercings: It just means you are a pathetic attention whore begging for someone to look twice at you.

I have a tattoo. I have friends who have tattoos. One of my best friends is a tattoo artist who is covered in ink. Some of his tats are cool. But when he's covered in them, you can't really pick out the good artwork amidst all the chaotic imagery.

Plus, as he ages and the ink bleeds out, the tats turn into shit. Of course by that time, maybe you are less concerned with decorating your body so you look bitchin' and more concerned with something besides your appearance. He's not. But he's kind of, well, a drug addict without much of a life beyond his collection of tattoos. And I suppose those tats serve a purpose- maybe they help him find others of like mind by waving his freak flag high.

But hey- instead of painting your body up like every other douchebag in the country right now, what say you forego the "I'm an individual" artwork and- I don't know- maybe develop a personality?

It may be too late to prevent marking yourself up with your biker revlon, but it's NEVER too late to STOP being a dumb shit.

Please.

The Adventures of Hercubush!

Improper Breast Depictions

Lubbock Art Censorship Recap

My hometown, ever mindful of the dangers of showing boobies, especially boobies doing what God (or perhaps... Satan!?) intended - has banned two works of art depicting breasts and breastfeeding at a local art event at Buddy Holly Center. (Lubbock = Mecca of the Arts! or, er, perhaps I should say, congregation of the arts so as not to offend the christian brethren).
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Wow, arresting Chippendales dancers last year pales in comparison to this.... Of course, with Lubbockites, you never know what they are offended by exactly. Upon speaking to my fellow conservative, high morally upstanding fellow Lubbockites (... I am starting to refer to them as "Bubba-ckites") I have amalgamated their righteous indignation into one response, to save time and trouble...

For future reference, this Bubbackite pseudoynym will be "Sam Houston, defender of the West Texas Way."

So, Sam (pronounced the proper Lubbock way, with 3 syllables) why did you demand these breastfeeding pics be taken down?

Sam Houston Responds:

You damn lefties are trying to corrupt the good morals of this here community by showing women doing pagan activities like feeding kids from their bare breasts!

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How many jobs will be lost if all women start breastfeeding? How many formula manufacturers in China will go out of business, causing the commies to spend less money buying up the U.S. dollar and be forced to funnel that formula money into Iran's nuckleer program?

.

If every child gets healthier by breast feeding instead of being raised on synthetics then Pharmaecutical companies will lose a ton of money! And every time a U.S. corporation loses a dollar, the terrorists win!

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Ya'll need to unnerstand the bigger picture out here! No red-blooded West Texas man wants to see a woman's boobies doing something as unnattractive as feeding some rugrat. Breasts should be only shown in glossy magazines in the bottom of our sock drawers, for a man's privacy in his own home. Or at private stag parties in the basement of the Lubbock City Council's chambers, away from the eyes of split-tails who may be offended by such imagery which God intended only for men of strong character.

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I do, however, like the fact that the women is bare-foot in the picture- that part is good Primitive Baptist doctrine . But other than that, its purely porn-aw-graffy! I ain't never been so fired up since they tried to put idols of Zeus blowing the wind on ever overpass in town! Damn heathens! Don't make me get my rope out, now.

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So, there you have it. The Sam Houstons of Lubbock strike again in the name of decency and keeping images of women safe from perverts.

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UPDATE: "Nurse-In" protest planned ...

It's beginning to look a lot like the War on Christmas

The War on Christmas just gets earlier and earlier each year...

Support Paganism! Don't let the Pagans Kill Christmas!

If the war on christmas is successful, then we will no longer be able to celebrate the Pagan customs that we always have!

Sure, we pagans lost the war against Yule back in 1911, and ever since we have been forced to pretend that decorating evergreens and giving presents in the dead of winter was all derived from the birth of a jew in spring under date trees.

The only people that DON'T know that Christmas is a complete and utter Heathen-Fest are the stupidest people on the planet- Christians!

But if the clueless politically correct win the war against "Christmas" we only are killing our actual heathen customs. So support Paganism AND fight against the war against Christmas!

Because what is christmas really? It's Fucking YULE, thats what, no matter how many bleating christians whine otherwise.

Christians don't click on these links!!! They may lead you to believe the world is older than 6,000 years or other dangerous facts. The truth is out there, avoid it at all cost!

Historically accurate

A most christian man tells us why we should take Christ Out of Christmas:

THIS IS THE ENEMY, MY PAGAN BRETHREN! As he says:

The most common justification that one will hear regarding Christmas is that people have replaced old pagan customs and intents by asserting that they are now “focusing on Christ.” I have heard many say that they are “honoring Christ” in their Christmas-keeping. The problem is that God does not say this is acceptable to Him! Actually, He plainly commands against it! Keeping Christmas dishonors Christ! He considers everything about it to be an abomination!

Wowzers. This guy is teh Faithful. The pros of this type of Religious guy is that he probably actually follows the teachings of Christ (anti-torture, anti-war, anti-greed) the con is he actually thinks that the end of the world is something to look forward to...

And here's a christian so whacked out he probably scares the hell out that last guy:

Christmas is Satan's Birthday!

choice Excerpt: (but the whole damn thing is excellent fodder for atheism)

He flies horned beasts (by sorcery?) through the air at night, and enters homes by means of the fireplace -- the ancient Pagans' most sacred spot in their homes. Who might Santa really be? SATAN & SANTA employ the same letters, and are in perfect order right before your eyes, and all you have to do is move the "N".

Other things to note:

St. Nicholas is The Anti-Santa! Do not confuse the holy name of Santa Claus with the patron saint of seamen and prostitutes!

Traditional pic of St. Nick with three naked boys. (Don't ask me, some church secrets I don't want to know)

Father Christmas- (for lack of a better name)

Classical images of Father Christmas:

Traditional Interpretation

AD&D Interpretation (ver.3.5)

Hollywood Liberal Interpretation

Uber Tree Hugger Interpretation

Christian interpretation of Pagan Father Christmas

Fade Interpretation