Dec 18, 2007

Improper Breast Depictions

My hometown, ever mindful of the dangers of showing boobies, especially boobies doing what God (or perhaps... Satan!?) intended - has banned two works of art depicting breasts and breastfeeding at a local art event at Buddy Holly Center. (Lubbock = Mecca of the Arts! or, er, perhaps I should say, congregation of the arts so as not to offend the christian brethren).
Wow, arresting Chippendales dancers last year pales in comparison to this.... Of course, with Lubbockites, you never know what they are offended by exactly. Upon speaking to my fellow conservative, high morally upstanding fellow Lubbockites (... I am starting to refer to them as "Bubba-ckites") I have amalgamated their righteous indignation into one response, to save time and trouble...

For future reference, this Bubbackite pseudoynym will be "Sam Houston, defender of the West Texas Way."

So, Sam (pronounced the proper Lubbock way, with 3 syllables) why did you demand these breastfeeding pics be taken down?

Sam Houston Responds:
You damn lefties are trying to corrupt the good morals of this here community by showing women doing pagan activities like feeding kids from their bare breasts!
How many jobs will be lost if all women start breastfeeding? How many formula manufacturers in China will go out of business, causing the commies to spend less money buying up the U.S. dollar and be forced to funnel that formula money into Iran's nuckleer program?
If every child gets healthier by breast feeding instead of being raised on synthetics then Pharmaecutical companies will lose a ton of money! And every time a U.S. corporation loses a dollar, the terrorists win!
Ya'll need to unnerstand the bigger picture out here! No red-blooded West Texas man wants to see a woman's boobies doing something as unnattractive as feeding some rugrat. Breasts should be only shown in glossy magazines in the bottom of our sock drawers, for a man's privacy in his own home. Or at private stag parties in the basement of the Lubbock City Council's chambers, away from the eyes of split-tails who may be offended by such imagery which God intended only for men of strong character.
I do, however, like the fact that the women is bare-foot in the picture- that part is good Primitive Baptist doctrine . But other than that, its purely porn-aw-graffy! I ain't never been so fired up since they tried to put idols of Zeus blowing the wind on ever overpass in town! Damn heathens! Don't make me get my rope out, now.
So, there you have it. The Sam Houstons of Lubbock strike again in the name of decency and keeping images of women safe from perverts.


pissed off patricia said...

I think I would go batshit crazy living in an area like that. No, I don't think I would, I know I would.

I don't know how you do it.

fade said...

I think this blog helps a lot.

Plus, I naturally believe everyone is less intelligent than me anyway, and living here makes it easier to fully inflate my ego.

and the weather's nice.

Anonymous said...

You have got to be shitting me!

You aren't you????


I'm actually sitting here rubbing my eyes, Fade.

Ain't lying!


cowgirlsalon said...

The few liberals that Lubbock does have are some of the most thick-skinned lefties you'll come across. Its easy to be a liberal when you live in a place where there are lots of other left thinkers (Austin, California, etc,), but to be an outspoken liberal in Lubbock requires that one be of a pretty tough constitution.

Though I think we all contemplate bat-shit crazy from time to time. It would certainly be easier. :)

Anonymous said...

Fade - I can't imagine why you thought of me and the DCups!!!

So silly, this whole idea that breasts are dirty, but then who am I to slam this? I use my biggin's like objets de sex all the damn time.

And so, I'm glad you're a voice there in Lubbock, calling bullshit when you see it. As a "visitor/transplant" I tend to remain silent too often here in my red-washed locale of NW Georgia. I don't feel it's my place to call these folks out in their hometown.

But were I back home in Indiana where red is RED, I'd be one noisy, busty babe.

Keep up the fight. And go Edwards!!!

Vince said...

The City backed down, the ACLU prevailed, an "apology" was offered to Lahib, an invitation to exhibit the previously banned art was extended and the NURSE-IN is still on!

Fade said...

Welllllll, doggies! Thanks for the update Vince. Hats off to the Lubbockites who stood up to the Bubbockites.

mistharm said...

Wow... that's... um...

WTF mate.

They do realize that boobies have been in artwork since... well... the invention of art... right?

Then again, Art is all about pushing the buttons of morons; so I guess its working!

Carl said...


Any photos around?

OK, yea, that was tasteless, but at least I waited til the issue was settled...

Vince said...

Not settled yet, the City has yet to respond to the ACLU's FOIA request (and I understand other organizations have now requested the same info). The Nurse-In is set for Friday, Jan. 4 at the Buddy Holly Center, and the national media has picked up on the story! Another Bum Steer Award in the making.