Jan 24, 2007

Cartoon Breakdown for the Intellectually Challenged

This is for the Fox Network crowd. Stay tuned for a very special QVC bonus sale after this important message...

Yes, you.

You are the cavemen, the bushbots, and the Proud Amerkun Heroes that put the Dumb in Freedom. You are enthusiastic about what you believe in which is: God, John Wayne, and free market capitalism (not necessarily in that order). You believe in God, but you don't go to church and you can easily discount most of Christ's actual teachings as "liberal bullshit".

You get most of your information from the mainstream media that you claim to hate. You watch a lot of television- mainly Fox news followed by Fox's stream of semi-porn crap shows. You work hard for your dollar, Although you believe that you are the only one that does. "not like them damn mex-ee-cans or them welfare people that have it made,driving in new cad-ee-lacks to pickup their gubmint checks". You bitch about the price of gas in the same breath that you praise Bush's "Economee".

You whine that no one understands that we need to Kill a LOT of people, I mean - A LOT- of them if we are ever to protect ourselves. I mean almost every-damn-body. "That's how ya end terrarism, bud." You have never been in the military, but if you were, look out, cuz you would kick some ass, I'm a-telling ya, boy.

You think that Free market capitalism is where it's at and don't let none of those pinko commies tell you anything different. Even though free market capitalism has killed American manufacturing and given us a Chinese supplied Wal-Mart in every city in America. You hate Unions although they were the only thing that made the 50's such a "golden era" in American industry. You have two or three elderly relatives who are living off the most succesful American program out there- a prime example of Socialism at work, that is, if you haven't shipped them off to a semi-state owned nursing home yet.

So there you are, a little confused about which guys are good and which ones are bad. "Who's wearing the black hats, Mee-Maw?" Mee-maw, god bless her, don't have the time, energy, or the inclination to explain it to you. So she pops another heart med and ignores you. Which is why I am here to splain it to you for the eventual benefit of her, and Every other American out there who is actually paying attention.

I know you probably got all perplexinated by the words. So just go back up to the top, take a long hard look at yourself, then come back down heah and look at the cartoon illustrations of our country's leadership. Feel free to print and cut them out and glue them to your fridge or something for future reference.


(What I wouldn't give for a REAL AMERICAN HERO)


And, it really IS that simple, (and you know you want it simple). The guys running our country (into the ground) are the guys with the black hats. They are the only ones who are capable of harming the American people right now: by not protecting our borders, by not helping bolstering the U.S.Dollar and economy, and by forcing America to continue sucking on the Oil teat.

But, I'm here to tell you, there IS an Alternative. And that is new blood. Support Americans who are trying to pull these clowns off of their ivory towers and do something GOOD for our country. Support Reid, Edwards, Clark, Joe Wilson, Al Gore. They are fighting for YOUR freedoms and your country. Bush, Cheney, Robertson, Lieberman are just fighting for the spoils.

ExtraSpecial QVC BONUS: The Captain Caveman Yell!

UPDATE: More about those Cracker-Crazee Bushbots! Nugent does Perry's Inaugural ball


Me said...

I'm sorry, but the 'toons are HIFRIGGINGLARIOUS!! OK, now I'm gonna go and actually READ the post. brb

Frederick said...

It's obvious, it's right there in front of their faces, but they refuse to see. Followers.

Me said...

Again, you have done one FANTASTIC JOB with this post.
You REALLY should think about cross-posting this elsewhere, too. It's that good.
Caveman, kiss our asses. And mine is brown, too.

Me said...

I'm sending friends your way. This is just too good to pass up. Seriously.

Me said...

OK, now I am truly dying over here. The YELL!!! Oh yeah, baby.

Fernando said...

I understand that taking a difficult subject and making it easy to understand is a gift.

You are so generous.

Pam said...

oh DAMN!! The old broad was right. I had to come read.

You described half my freakin' family. And they do think I am a pinko commie tree hugging bleeding heart liberal(I wear that label proudly). Oh god, make them STOP DRINKING THE KOOLAID!!

Off to listen to that yell.....

Me said...

Just wanted to let you know I'm gonna feature you in a post. I did something similar a few months ago, introduced my readers to Quasar9, Pam and The Poetryman. You are such a good writer, more people need to know about you (other than me and the asshole Caveman).

Faded said...

Ob- Flattery will get you everywhere. :) Thanks for the support. Being able to vent and network with the 75% of sane Americans (which don't live in West Texas) keeps me from going all Travis Bickle up in here.

Ziem said...

Fade: Awesome!! Standing ovation ensues!

Mike the Liberal said...

"And, it really IS that simple, (and you know you want it simple)."

Today's Quote of the Day shows how simple people are.

"It is always easier to believe than to deny. Our minds are naturally affirmative." -- John Burroughs

The corporations still want us to fight terrorism by going shopping. Meanwhile, they want to keep down the minimum wage, export jobs, and send other people's children to fight wars for oil (but, not their children). They don't believe in the common wealth; they believe in "I got mine, F*#@ You!" (IGMFY)

Great cartoons and analysis.


Anonymous said...

WHY do y'all hate 'Murrica so much?

Anonymous said...

BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH thanks love the caveman thingy...ohhh im back had internet problems ..dam Bush fault...Hey Broad..My ass is brown to ; )

supergirlest said...

over from old broad's spot to give you the once over. you'll be pleased to know that you've passed with flying colors! i shall be back.


Me said...

Caveman, you're either a blatant LIAR or a traitor to your own heritage. Brown ass, my ass. I will NEVER believe that. NEVER.

Unknown said...

Hi, came over from old broad's and I have to say I do not regret it. This post is so funny!!!