All Hail Excellence in Award giving!

A great and generous blog lord gives freely to his vassals...




May the peace and love of the Ape-Human Renaissance continue unabated.



Dr. Z at home, listening to Irene play Skynrd and perusing the papernet blogs...

Thank you for the accolades. Carry on your valuable research, good sir.

The Incredible Hulkabee!

I was going to beg Frederick to make me a better pic of Hulkabee, but I couldn't wait....

In the wilds of Arkansas while out hunting rabid dogs with his son, Hulkabee was born!

It all started when Huckabee encountered a water moccassin that had been abused by snake handlers. It had been forced to live in a tank of holy water and fed only aryan mice that had been converted to christianity from their evil rodent religion. It had escaped from the church where it had been held captive and was hiding in the knothole of a tree.

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Unfortunately for the abused serpent, Huckabee's eye had chanced upon the tree and he proceeded to do some “Arkansas knotholing”. (a common practice in Huckabee's community, second in popularity- in fact- only to squirrel hunting).

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The snake, fearing torture by the humans again, bit Huck as he made sweet christian love to the seductive elm. He then shuddered and died. The snake, not Huck.

Huck’s son was busy strangling a particulary vicious looking stray schnauzer on the other side of the valley and was unable to suck out the poison for his dad.

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Hulkabee fell into a dreamstate from the holy water moccasin venom and God came into his head and spoke to him.

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“You are the chosen one. You will go to Washington and replace the constitution with the 10 commandments! If anyone gets in your way, the holy spirit will fill you and you will transform into HULKABEE!”

Huck felt the holy venom changing him. And he said unto the Lord: “Yes, O Lord”

And the Lord turned to go back into heaven, and as he disappeared he yelled over his shoulder- “And stop sticking your dick in trees!”

Hulkabee arose filled with two things: A godly fire to spread the word of Religion to his government and - an intense hate for all sexual desires except with his lovely wife- Erlene.

Normally sane- he can go off at a moment’s notice into a constitution shredding fury! That slack jawed sleepy grin hides a grimace that makes Fred Thompson look like Matthew McConnahey!

Tremble, ye unworthy! Repent, ye sinners. Huck Smash Law!

(and yes, that IS the angriest pic of Huck I could find)

Love me or hate me-

But I'd really prefer if you would just exonerate me of all wrongdoing, perceived or otherwise...

Daddy Kirk's 720

It all started with my daughter, Amy, asking what a "180" was...

So, after I broke out pen and paper (cause, she's every bit as much of a analytical geek as I) and explained 90 degree angles, 180s and 360s as best as I could, using examples with trampolines and skateboards and finally we spun around the room together for full effect- she kept the math going and asked: So If I spin around twice its a 720?

Uh yeah.

She's happy cuz she learned something. I'm happy because I may have actually taught something, and there ya go. Momentary Parental Nirvana achieved. Now I can drink myself into a stupor without feeling as guilty as normal.

Just kidding. Barely a half-stupor, but its 11pm, so I'm working on it.

Any-Way- So after toying with the idea of deleting this blog tonight, or deleting everything but the non-political posts (I know, jeezus, that would take some time) I decide I shall persevere. And feeling like everything has grown sort of stagnant of late, I delve into piles of my old writing, most of which was completely non-political. I found some gems, though. From my Republican days.

I will now ruin all my hard-earned liberal blog cred by posting some of them...

This is a letter to the Editor to the Lubbock Avalanche Journal that got published 10 years ago during the Impeachment of Bill Clinton. Back when I was a certified dittohead.

LETTER TO THE EDITOR
The Lady who Defended Clinton on 10/7/98 says a husband can receive "mouth jobs" from a woman besides his wife and it is okay. Apparently she and the president have the same views on marriage. However, Clinton finally admitted having "regular" sex with other women during his marriage. He first lied to his family and the public about all of them. He also lied about accepting illegal contributions from agents of the Chinese government. He also lied about doing drugs. He also lied about knowing nothing about Travelgate and Whitewater. I don't think he should be impeached ONLY for his dalliances with a Government employee on Government time on Government property. He should be removed from office for All of his numerous crimes against America and the American people. And By the way, I also think that we Clinton bashers could make good skunk catchers, after all, we caught HIM.
10/18/98

My first letter ever published to the A-J. Boy was I full of myself (completely unlike the moderate, humble blogger you know and love now, huh?) All that I can say in defense of myself is - uh - Hey! I'm consistent in my desire to impeach Presidents, no matter what party- Now, THAT'S Bipartisan...

My next letter got me in hot water with the family, who decided I was satanic. How, may I ask you, can a card carrying recipient of the Limbaugh letter be in league with the Debbil? I am re-printing it here, just to show that you can be a metal-head and a Republican at the same time. Although, now, hindsight being 20/20 - I understand that Rush was a gateway drug into fascist dopedom. Luckily my ADHD prevented the crystal meth from having much of an effect.

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

A little hearsay goes a long way. This letter is in response to Mrs.Caldwell's (AJ 1-25). The band, Marilyn Manson, is not satanic, and neither does the lead singer who also goes by the name, Marilyn Manson, consider himself the antichrist. The name of their most recent album is Antichrist Superstar, a tongue-in-cheek marketing ploy devised by the band's manager, in order to garner attention from the rebellious teen age group who make up the band's target audience. Does anyone remember the band KISS and the rumors surrounding them? Marilyn Manson is KISS for the 90's. Sure they dress up weird, act a little goofy, and use a lot of theatrical special effects. So what? The music is good, and that is why I will be at the concert on Feb.4. People should open their eyes and minds before calling for a ban of anything based merely on gossip.

This was all, of course, before the religious wing of the right reared its fugwy head. By the time that had happened, I was already out the door. I never thought that I would end up here, in the strange limbo that I now inhabit, the liberal ghetto of redneckistan. It's all good, though. I wasn't a total douchebag back then, I still managed to write a few things that mean something to me still....

Untitled 8/14/96

Never again a broken heart,
and never again true love-
And when I relive those evil deeds,
I know this fate worse than ever dreamed of.

Wisdom comes hard, or not at all,
and Penance only allowed so many times
These words are my duty and my final debt
Here- My love borne of a few simple rhymes...

Arrogance is bliss
but is easily corrected
With the loss of your kiss
My soul was disconnected

I set aside the decay of pride
and dream the same daydream
holding you close by my side
and things become all they seem

I've never said that I wasn't lost
The only thing I liked about my life was you
The price of my selfishness now has an eternal cost...
And drifting here in Hell, I don't know what to do.

Pain IS a gift. But hopefully not one you have to receive forever.

It's beginning to look a lot like the War on Christmas

The War on Christmas just gets earlier and earlier each year...

Support Paganism! Don't let the Pagans Kill Christmas!

If the war on christmas is successful, then we will no longer be able to celebrate the Pagan customs that we always have!

Sure, we pagans lost the war against Yule back in 1911, and ever since we have been forced to pretend that decorating evergreens and giving presents in the dead of winter was all derived from the birth of a jew in spring under date trees.

The only people that DON'T know that Christmas is a complete and utter Heathen-Fest are the stupidest people on the planet- Christians!

But if the clueless politically correct win the war against "Christmas" we only are killing our actual heathen customs. So support Paganism AND fight against the war against Christmas!

Because what is christmas really? It's Fucking YULE, thats what, no matter how many bleating christians whine otherwise.

Christians don't click on these links!!! They may lead you to believe the world is older than 6,000 years or other dangerous facts. The truth is out there, avoid it at all cost!

Historically accurate

A most christian man tells us why we should take Christ Out of Christmas:

THIS IS THE ENEMY, MY PAGAN BRETHREN! As he says:

The most common justification that one will hear regarding Christmas is that people have replaced old pagan customs and intents by asserting that they are now “focusing on Christ.” I have heard many say that they are “honoring Christ” in their Christmas-keeping. The problem is that God does not say this is acceptable to Him! Actually, He plainly commands against it! Keeping Christmas dishonors Christ! He considers everything about it to be an abomination!

Wowzers. This guy is teh Faithful. The pros of this type of Religious guy is that he probably actually follows the teachings of Christ (anti-torture, anti-war, anti-greed) the con is he actually thinks that the end of the world is something to look forward to...

And here's a christian so whacked out he probably scares the hell out that last guy:

Christmas is Satan's Birthday!

choice Excerpt: (but the whole damn thing is excellent fodder for atheism)

He flies horned beasts (by sorcery?) through the air at night, and enters homes by means of the fireplace -- the ancient Pagans' most sacred spot in their homes. Who might Santa really be? SATAN & SANTA employ the same letters, and are in perfect order right before your eyes, and all you have to do is move the "N".

Other things to note:

St. Nicholas is The Anti-Santa! Do not confuse the holy name of Santa Claus with the patron saint of seamen and prostitutes!

Traditional pic of St. Nick with three naked boys. (Don't ask me, some church secrets I don't want to know)

Father Christmas- (for lack of a better name)

Classical images of Father Christmas:

Traditional Interpretation

AD&D Interpretation (ver.3.5)

Hollywood Liberal Interpretation

Uber Tree Hugger Interpretation

Christian interpretation of Pagan Father Christmas

Fade Interpretation

Anyone can be a winner...

The Futility of Faith

This life so crippled that I can't stand,
And God on High, with no command
Angels futile and Devils impotent as well,
And to think that I was once afraid of Hell...

Seek not your soul, it does not exist-
Meaning and truth are ideas that do not persist
Each moments experience is its only reward-
Let passion be your shield, pleasure be thy sword.

And Love? That lofty goal so pure-
is no more than some charlatan's cure.
I realize now, and understand all too late
Faith in heart will not change your animals fate.

that is it, no moral here,
my search ends as my own worst fear.
I know of nothing more to say or write-
and these words- my life, no matter how slight...
Fade

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"Augustus was sensible that mankind is governed by names; nor was he deceived in his expectation, that the senate and people would submit to slavery, provided they were respectfully assured that they still enjoyed their ancient freedom."

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"Philosophy alone can boast (and perhaps it is no more than the boast of philosophy), that her gentle hand is able to eradicate from the human mind the latent and deadly principle of fanaticism."

(from Gibbon's Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire)

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It appears the easiest way to destroy a nation of tyrants is to let the tyrants rule... I give "free market capitalism" 15 more years of shelf life at the rate which they are eviscerating the country's resources, manufacturing, and economy. A investment insider, and multi-millionaire entrepenuer told me this today:

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"It will be like the 1900's. The middle class will be gone, they will all be migrated into the ranks of the poor. The poor won't care. They've never had shit, not having shit then won't be any more painful than it is today. The wealthy will be fine. You want to survive? Get as much money as you possibly can, because you'll need it. Get it now and you can leave the country later."

- a sentiment that I am sure is shared by many of our wealthiest Americans.

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Hmmm. Maybe if the government collapses and the four horsemen ride on America, all the christians will rush to Israel to beg for Jesus to come save them? We can only hope. Isn't there some passage in the bible that will convince them that salvation lies in the land of Moses?

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Buy a gun. Buy two. Because with what I know of Christians, the ones who aren't chasing the rapture will be trying to steal what little is left here in America. I could live with a return to a less decadent, less greed-driven society. Maybe once there's nothing left to steal, rape, or destroy, they will move on to the next victim of "Democracy".

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also from Gibbon's Decline:

"A warlike nation like the Germans, without either cities, letters, arts, or money, found some compensation for this savage state in the enjoyment of liberty. Their poverty secured their freedom, since our desires and our possessions are the strongest fetters of despotism."

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related links (Updated occasionally):

America in the time of Empire

Amerikan Apathy Conspiracy

The Ants of Gaia

Operation Mindcrime

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I Remember Now

Anarchy-X

Revolution Calling

Operation: Mindcrime I. Mindcrime II: Bush-Plame smoking gun?

Speak

Spreading the Disease

The Mission Knowledge Directed Revolution

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Suite Sister Mary Christianity from people who actually follow the teachings of Jesus

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The Needle Lies There are anti-liberal bushbots, and there are the Liberal anti-bushbots, and then there are the anti-liberal, anti-bushbot christbots... Ah, sweet diversity. This person tells us why Tucker Carlson is anti-bush. When you catch your breath and stop laughing, feel free to be astounded by the unintentional hilarity of this blog.

Electric Requiem The final word on torture, from a Brigadier General

Breaking the Silence

I Don't Believe In Love :

"I used to think

That only America's way was right

But now the holy dollar rules everybody's lives

Gotta make a million doesn't matter who dies"

My Empty Room The slow strangling of free market "capitalism"

Eyes of a Stranger The high price of American Gullibility

Rain just turned six...

I don't post anything personal very often, but my youngest child just turned six years old. I thought I'd dote a little bit since "my baby" isn't a baby any longer.... (sigh) Here's a few pics from her Proud daddy.

Damn I am getting old. And meanwhile I am busting my ass right now getting the oldest's christmas present ready in time... He is 17 and I am rebuilding a hot rod for him. Just finished putting the paint on it Sat night. Rain (yes, Caveman, that is a pretty hippy name- her sister's name is Amy Sky - sue me) is already designing the car she wants me to build her... So far all that I know is that it has be "Blue, not pink-, NOT have a top, and have flames." I will get right on that...

Anyway- Everyone have a great day!