Nov 29, 2007

It's beginning to look a lot like the War on Christmas

The War on Christmas just gets earlier and earlier each year...

Support Paganism! Don't let the Pagans Kill Christmas!

If the war on christmas is successful, then we will no longer be able to celebrate the Pagan customs that we always have!

Sure, we pagans lost the war against Yule back in 1911, and ever since we have been forced to pretend that decorating evergreens and giving presents in the dead of winter was all derived from the birth of a jew in spring under date trees.

The only people that DON'T know that Christmas is a complete and utter Heathen-Fest are the stupidest people on the planet- Christians!

But if the clueless politically correct win the war against "Christmas" we only are killing our actual heathen customs. So support Paganism AND fight against the war against Christmas!

Because what is christmas really? It's Fucking YULE, thats what, no matter how many bleating christians whine otherwise.

Christians don't click on these links!!! They may lead you to believe the world is older than 6,000 years or other dangerous facts. The truth is out there, avoid it at all cost!

Historically accurate

A most christian man tells us why we should take Christ Out of Christmas:


The most common justification that one will hear regarding Christmas is that people have replaced old pagan customs and intents by asserting that they are now “focusing on Christ.” I have heard many say that they are “honoring Christ” in their Christmas-keeping. The problem is that God does not say this is acceptable to Him! Actually, He plainly commands against it! Keeping Christmas dishonors Christ! He considers everything about it to be an abomination!

Wowzers. This guy is teh Faithful. The pros of this type of Religious guy is that he probably actually follows the teachings of Christ (anti-torture, anti-war, anti-greed) the con is he actually thinks that the end of the world is something to look forward to...

And here's a christian so whacked out he probably scares the hell out that last guy:

Christmas is Satan's Birthday!

choice Excerpt: (but the whole damn thing is excellent fodder for atheism)

He flies horned beasts (by sorcery?) through the air at night, and enters homes by means of the fireplace -- the ancient Pagans' most sacred spot in their homes. Who might Santa really be? SATAN & SANTA employ the same letters, and are in perfect order right before your eyes, and all you have to do is move the "N".

Other things to note:

All Religion is black and white

St. Nicholas is The Anti-Santa! Do not confuse the holy name of Santa Claus with the patron saint of seamen and prostitutes!

Traditional pic of St. Nick with three naked boys. (Don't ask me, some church secrets I don't want to know)

Father Christmas- (for lack of a better name)

Classical images of Father Christmas:

Green Santa

Traditional Interpretation

Necromancer Santa

AD&D Interpretation (ver.3.5)

Bitchin Mad Powerful Santa

Hollywood Liberal Interpretation

Earthmother's baby's Daddy Santa

Uber Tree Hugger Interpretation

Fuck Christmas!

Christian interpretation of Pagan Father Christmas

Have a Drink on me Santa

Fade Interpretation


Hill said...


OK, my 3 faves are:

"Uber Tree Hugger Interpretation"

"Christian interpretation of Pagan Father Christmas"

and of course,

"Fade Interpretation"

Here's what I have to say to the "so called War On Christmas."



pissed off patricia said...

Those Santas or whatever they were called are frightening. I don't give a shit if my neighbor puts up plastic baby jesus figures all over her yard and has fourteen christmas trees in her house. Fine by me, but don't anyone tell me I have to do the same thing. That's when it gets ugly. To each his own and then STFU, is the way I see it.

Hill said...

Oh, and this is for Caveman if he happens to be lurking....


Kiss my ass!

Oh, and Merry Christmas to you, too!


The Poor Blogger said...

The santas were hilarious. Have you read "Hogfather" by Terry Pratchett? If not, go get it immediately. I think you will get a kick out of it.

On a serious note, the Church was always aware of the pre-existing feast of Sol Invictus and all the pagan festivals which surrounded the Solstice. Christmas is one of the few feasts which was placed specifically to offset a pagan one. Or, in my mind, to fulfill it.

C.S. Lewis wrote a lot about how the Christian (true) myth fulfills the older myths. You can read a bit here:

Or not. Have a lovely Yule and saturnalian Solstice.


Fade said...

Hill, I think I'll see Santa before I run into my favorite troll again... But, I'll leave him a glass of Keystone by the fireplace for my old foeman...

Kester- got to love Pratchett! Interesting post on CS Lewis. I am adding your blog to my blogroll. It is hands down the most interesting blog I've run across in quite a while... You aight for a christer!

I'm a piss poor pagan anyhow. Even hate camping.

The Poor Blogger said...

Thanks, thanks. And don't worry about the camping. Pagans probably hated it, too. If they had central heat and air, you'd better believe they'd be in front of the wide screen with a remote and a Tivo like the rest of us.

Speaking of pagans, this is one of my favorite "Christmas" songs, by Jackson Browne:

All the streets are filled with laughter and light
And the music of the season
And the merchants' windows are all bright
With the faces of the children
And the families hurrying to their homes
As the sky darkens and freezes
Will be gathering around the hearths and tables
Giving thanks for God's graces
And the birth of the rebel Jesus

Well they call him by 'the Prince of Peace'
And they call him by 'the Savior'
And they pray to him upon the seas
And in every bold endeavor
And they fill his churches with their pride and gold
As their faith in him increases
But they've turned the nature that I worship in
From a temple to a robber's den
In the words of the rebel Jesus

We guard our world with locks and guns
And we guard our fine possessions
And once a year when Christmas comes
We give to our relations
And perhaps we give a little to the poor
If the generosity should seize us
But if any one of us should interfere
In the business of why there are poor
They get the same as the rebel Jesus

But pardon me if I have seemed
To take the tone of judgement
For I've no wish to come between
This day and your enjoyment
In a life of hardship and of earthly toil
We have need for anything that frees us
So I bid you pleasure
And I bid you cheer
From a heathen and a pagan
On the side of the rebel Jesus

old hack said...

christmas. the time where all of us can ban together to stick our nose up at the christ killing jew. and do our best to convert those heathens that worship allah. and When we can mock the godless indians.

I time for spreading cheer and good will and waisting electricity and boosting the economy.

brought to you by coca cola

Hill said...

Fade, babe, stop by and see what Hill Country cowgirls do on Saturdays....


Batocchio said...

Well done!