Timeless Rantitude - Outsourced to Blind Wino...
The whole thing was really good, but here's the part I like the most..
The answer is obvious: Outsource Congress.
Look. They’re not doing their jobs. They accidentally made the fines for saying “Shit” on network television 350 TIMES HIGHER than the fines for overseeing an unsafe mining operation with safety violations that kill 10 miners/human beings. Nobody would do that on purpose, right? It must be pure inefficiency.
Outsource Congress to India. Think of all the money we would save! We wouldn’t have to pay for their healthcare. Their salaries. Their airplanes. Their limos. Their franking privileges.
Hell, we can cut their pensions right now. All these unproductive “retired” ex-Congresspeople…how much are we paying for them? Retired? More like “too old to be useful members of society.” If you’re not contributing, YOU ARE A LEECH. WHY SHOULD MY TAX MONEY BE GOING TO LEECHES???? STARVATION WILL TEACH YOU SOME LIFE LESSONS, YOU LEECHES!!!!!
We’re streamling in the USA. We’ve already proved that it works for the lower and middle classes. Ship jobs out of the country, and for the jobs that can’t be shipped, allow a steady supply of cheap immigrant labor to work for a quarter of the minimum wage. You know, for all those jobs that Americans won’t do…for two bucks an hour and no benefits.
Pretty soon, we’ll be soooooo efficient. Labor costs will go down to Zero. We will be a nation of machines that build other machines that are bought and used by yet more machines! We can cut humanity out of the market completely! We hook the ATMs up to the stores directly! We don't need you getting in the way of our money anymore. Think of the savings! Think how great the compete destruction of your flesh-based existence will be for our American economy! We'll be a great nation once again!
FRIENDS, THESE ARE GREAT TIMES!